vIOliN bUrUk iTu....

i'm bAcK fOr gOOd

Violin World is full of violin stories such as the one you are now reading which went something like . . .Once upon a time there was a serious crisis amongst violin playing people who, facing the confusing challenges of contemporary music, stumbled upon some radical solutions at a web site which utilized many unorthodox violin images and violin sounds, not to say relative violin courses in innovative violin building of a sort perhaps unfamiliar to the rank and file membership of violin man, or any violinist extraordinaire, vibrating virtuoso, victimised composer of violin music, or valiant violin maker who would be hoping to improve their violin performance and earning potential in the field of violin new music with the possibilities of interactive violin playing which increases the violin power available in the violin bow and for whom a history of the violin and the contemporary violin, as well as the inferred modern violin tendency for violin pieces of bow and string which go beyond the traditional violin concerto and violin sonata in any violin language whether it be violon, geige, viool, violini, or just plain violin, violin, violin, or even string orchestra, giving rise to a less vexed violin world which focuses on sex and the violin, shopping and the violin, sport and the violin, films about the violin, the electric violin, violin advertising, violin kitsch, the fundamental G-string, violin pornography, violin theme parks, the religion of violins, as well as a centre for violin studies (not forgetting the theory of bow and language), including as it does, courses on violin and computers, home-made violins and violin lessons, dedicated to finding where the notes on a violin actually are, maybe to be found within the walls of the rosenberg museum which is itself a VIOLIN CASE beyond dimensions of time and space as indicated by new and experimental bowing techniques and fingering techniques such as playing the fence or playing all the fences in Australia as a violin project that Percy Grainger, who hated violins, would definitely have approved of along with violins in the outback, surely the new politically incorrect orthodoxy, for which the interactive bow and the MIDI bow are very useful indeed, taking string theory, fuzzy theory, and all strings and string method, the jazz violin, the heavy metal violin, traditional fiddle music, the virtual violin, classical violin, the klotz violin, the violin's relatives, the baroque violin, the Chinese violin, the avant guarde violinist, Paganini's last testimony himself and his pickled penis, and the violin player on HMS Bounty, Mozart's father and J. S. Bach's wife who had many sufferings as she said, into the archives of the Pink Violin, the violon d'Ingres, Vivaldi, the wretched Nigel Kennedy, the very sad case of Vanessa Mae, the vacuous Laurie Anderson, les Violonettes, and other straight violinists desperate to be fashionable, need I say more except to say that it is time to detonate a violin bomb, the Islamic Violin, then why not do the waltz thing, followed by the last tango, stopping by to hear violin music for restaurants, play with the red violin, play with all the relative violins, followed by Beethoven's violin-fish fantasy in the bath, leading to a brave new violin, the town of Violin, forced to play it again, Doc who anyway was listening to radio violin, a program on how to give up the violin, and Jon Rose who has many violins, if not the last violin...